Sweat Lodge. Yep I did it.

I must share the most profound experience I have had to date on this earth plane in this timeline. I was blessed with the great honor of being part of a sweat lodge ceremony led by a Native American Elder from the Anishinaabe tribe. I am grateful and humbled to be have been welcomed into this sacred ceremony. I am grateful to myself for listening to the call to join in this beautiful tradition.

My journey began with my somewhat reluctant husband and I driving 9.5 hours to "god knows where" Tennessee. After we parked our car into the tiny house we rented for the weekend we headed to dinner with strangers I would in two days call my friends, maybe even family. After our slumber, my husband and I were eager to hear the agenda for the day to come. In my type A egoic mind I had a hard time just rolling with it. As chill, as I thought I was these beautiful people, were on a whole nother level. Later I came to understand this is exactly what I needed, I needed to CHILL THE FUCK OUT! As someone who doesn't do so well in gatherings without a bit of wine, I was like a fish out of water. My other half, twin flame, life partner.... was in his element. He loves people, he loves to talk and he loves to be a part of something. He will still tell you he went for me and that this is not his kind of thing, but we both know that is total BS!

What came about over the next couple of days was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. Everyone came together and built the sweat lodge, I mean really built it. The men gathered sapling and dug holes and literally built the lodge from the ground up. I am most humbled by the fact that the men were to do the heavy lifting and the women were to hold the space for the men. This is something we have lost along the way. It felt so freeing to not feel the need to jump in take part in that. In our current time as humans, women feel the need to do it all. In a weird way, I felt like I was given my power back by allowing the men to fill this role. I could honor my divine feminine fully for the first time. I took back a piece of me that was lost a long time ago, lost along the way for all women.

As the day unfolded into the night the lodge finally came to be. If I walked away then I would have taken so much with me but there was more to come. I forgot to mention I am super claustrophobic. I hate to even acknowledge that I have fear but it's real. As about 17 of us piled into a space made for 8 the panic ensued. What was about to happen in the next 2 hours continues to develop days after leaving this sacred space. As we greeted the elder and he greeted us we piled women on one side and men on the other. Let just say I was glad we were separated because we were tight! As we settled in I could feel that old friend of mine, panic, creeping in. What happened next was the most loving experience I have ever had and will continue to hold this with me for the rest of my days. The two women on either side of me became my mothers, my sisters, my connection to myself and to mother earth. As they shut the flap to the lodge there was complete darkness and I freaked out! What one of the women said to me was spoken right to my heart, my soul. She said don't worry you are the light. I will maybe never see them again but I am forever in gratitude for these women and for all women who come before and will come after me.

The rest of this experience I will hold in my heart. I will hold each moment shared with all of the people involved with me for eternity. With the help of spirit, I was able to release some deep shit, some stuff that isn't even mine.

Thank you. Thank all of you for reading this. For letting me into your space. I made a promise to Spirit that I would take this back with me into my life and into the world.


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